Why don't Christians show more grace and love to others
I was talking with a non-Christian not to long ago and they asked the following question: Why do so many Christians seem unhappy with life and why don't they show more grace and love to others?
This seems to be a legit question. I know as a pastor I deal with hurting people and at times hurt myself but I think there is a differece between someone who is hurting and someone who does not show Christ's love to others. In church's all over, there is a lot of negativity that floats through the people. I remember talking with a lady at a coffee shop who wondered the same thing. Why is it that on Sunday's when the "christians" come in all hell breaks loose? They do nothing but complain and do not even tip. Why don't they show Christ's love and grace as he has shown to them?
It has made me think about how I treat others, along with what and how I say things to others. We are so short on grace at times. So are Christians really unhappy with life, or are they just forgetting that Christ showed love and grace while here on earth? It reminds of the adultrous women whom the people wanted to stone to death but then Jesus stepped in and said, "The first one without sin, go ahead and throw the first stone." Of course no one could throw one because we are all sinners. So it comes back to the question: Why don't more Christians have joy, grace and love in their lives, instead of being negative, unhappy and finding something to complain about? Again, this is something that someone asked me that was not a Christian, what would you say to this.
posted by gonavy @ 11:25 AM
13 comments
links to this post
13 Comments:
I would say that the only Christian I can answer for is myself. I'm not perfect just like everyone else and some days are better than others. Sometimes I have to work really hard to stay positive so others can see Christ in me, and I'm sure there are times I'm not all that successful.
We're just people and we screw up too. This is why I'm so glad I follow Christ and not Christians.
Great comment thinks2much!
MMM, that Christians don't as a whole 'show more grace' than the population is definately a painful indictment. Afterall 'they shall know you by your love one for another'. I think its a symptom of spiritual immaturity, a lack of fruits of the spirit. Hopefully, those inner fruits would bear outward results.
However, the danger we run in something like this is becoming insincere. If we get so obsessed with 'presenting a good witness', we lose the opportunity to be Real with people. It comes across that its all an act. We seem stiff and plastic. Ultimately, that is just as an unappealing as a little grumbling. And then if you ever do slip up, *gasp* !Hipocrasy! What a great job that does for your witness.
That being said, sometimes the best way to produce an inward change is to discipline yourself to an outward behavior. Learn to be selfless, by acting selfless, etc. So sometimes its a blancing act, a matter of degree. Noone said this whole 'christlikeness' thing would be easy. But its something worth living.
Mr. Steve-
If a person has joy on the inside, joy that only Christ can bring, then I don't think you have to worry about being fake with people. Maybe one of the problems if that many are hurting so bad on the inside that when they smile and say everything is alright, you can tell many times that they are not. How was it that Paul went through so much, yet he still had joy in his life? I have to agree that no one ever claimed that Christianity was going to be a cake-walk.
gonavy,
You mentioning Paul fits right into what I was thinking. Do you think all the disciples and apostles in the Bible went around being super nice and happy to everyone all the time? Or did they have their bad moments too?
Personally, I do think that is one of the hardest things to overcome when sharing Christ with others. That is, the attitudes that people have toward Christianity because of how they've been treated by other 'Christians'.
I do think that people measure Christians differently and often seek out the negative actions and subconciously magnify them. I've often heard statements like "All those Christians are a bunch of hypocrites". Well, we know that isn't true. Well, maybe it is true, but it is also true that ALL people are hypocrites at some point in their lives. But it's almost akin to the thought process of racism. A few bad experiences and suddenly all black people are bad or all white people are bad. It isn't logical but that doesn't matter if that's what someone feels. It could still keep them away from a relationship with Christ.
I think our human nature is often difficult to overcome. Some of us have negativity and sarcasm ingrained deeper into us than others. I have seen the fruits of the spirit at work and it is very refreshing. That's the goal.
We can't do anything about how the world views other Christians. We can only do something about ourselves. And if people see the love of Christ in us, I think that will go a long way to changing those attitudes.
Maybe a related topic would be:
How to represent what Christians believe in without being argumentative.
For instance, when someone says that it is okay to live a homosexual lifestyle and still receive salvation, how do you 'represent' what the Bible says without coming across as judgemental. I pick on homosexuality because that seems to be the issue of the day, but how do you represent the truth of the Bible without others thinking that you are basically just pointing out their flaws.
Awesome question...so awesome that I have sat here praying for the last half hour if I could even answer it, and if so, how to.
At the very top of this page it is written, "I know as a pastor I deal with hurting people and at times hurt myself but I think there is a differece between someone who is hurting and someone who does not show Christ's love to others."
I agree with this to a degree, but I know in one day of my walk I was so hurt I didn't want to share Jesus and I didn't. That's not to say I share Jesus 24/7 or anything, but it was a decision I made that day because I was so mad and confused. And because I was so hurt I thought, "Why would I want to share Jesus if I'm not thankful to be a Christian myself?" That day really turned my life around. I say that because there was a man I knew I could have led into the Kingdom that day, and I chose not to. It was one of the dumbest decisions I have ever made, and I pray Jesus would bring someone else into his path to lead him into the Kingdom. All that to say, I think someone can be so hurt, and the enemy can speak so many lies to a person, that that someone won't want to share Jesus even if they are presented with a wide open opportunity to change a life for eternity.
I realize that is an extreme circumstance but it happens. Excluding that one day in my life, even when I am hurt, I have a joy that can carry me through anything.
I think a lot of people who don't show the love of Jesus to others are so stuck on rules that they miss out on the love relationship. Which leads me to another question, have they ever wholeheartedly asked Jesus to lead their life? When I was in seminary, a friend of mine became a Christian. She thought she was a Christian but one day was convicted by the Spirit that she had never asked Jesus to lead her life. She then shared her story in Chapel and 14 more people became Christians that day who thought they were Christians. I'm talking about pastors becoming Christians that day!!
So maybe that's the bottom line, are the people we're talking about really Christians yet? I'm sure there are bad days, immature Christians, and hurting people, but has this bottom line been crossed yet...have they wholeheartedly asked Jesus to lead their lives? That is not something we can answer.
There are people who hurt all the time, I believe that everyone has been hurt or has even hurt others intentional or not. But what I am referring to is those who do not show Christ's love. Those who's attitude is terrible to the cashier at the store because they are not going fast as you want them to. Or again, going into food places and treating the waiter or waitress as if they are there to serve you only. What about those even who are new comers to the church? How do we treat them on Sunday's? Are we so caught up in what we are doing that we forget how it was when we first came into a church not really knowing anyone? To me it is more about attitude of the heart which will reveal your fruits. Just some thoughts as we all continue on this journey together.
I see what your saying, but I think some people are so hurt they don't or can't or won't share the love of Christ, and that is mostly because they (or we) are inward focused.
Since this is a hot topic now, how about a discussion on tithing.
I have to agree as a christian mself, I am confronted with issue OFTEN. I feel judged, insecure, inadequate, unforgiven, misunderstood, imperfect, insincere, unsure, and everything vile and corrupt around other christians, and it is a trial. What I feel God has personally told me and shown me is that it's an attack by the evil one to keep me from God's perfect will. I think God is allowing the Body of Christ to suffer this trial to ready us for the next level. To make us desire him even more, because if we are completely "happy" with one another here on earth, then would we be seeking God? Often times we leave GOD out of it when every thing is so hunky dory, we tend to need God more when things aren't just perfect. But, in front of the lost and dying world, we need to have the full armour of God on , his words in our mouth and on our lips, and his grace abounding from within. Grace is needed to be given in order to be received.
I believe that christians who do not walk in love or extend grace to others do so because they have not really received grace in their own lives. They may not say it out loud, but they probably have not forgiven themselves for sin and cannot understand the grace they received for their own lives when they came to Christ, therefore, they judge others and are critical and/or negative. Their minds do not get renewed. When I see others that are "somewhat difficult" to love I go back to the ugliest thing in mylife and how much I wanted forgiveness and I remember how freeing it was to be forgiven and therefore, I can extend grace to others because it was first extended to me. Oh if the Body of Christ would come to an understanding of grace!
THIS IS NOT A COMMENT AS MUCH AS IT'S A QUESTION....WHY DO CHRISTIANS THROW RELATIONSHIPS AWAY LIKE OLD PAIRS OF SHOES...WHY WHEN WE INVEST SO MUCH INTO GODLY RELATIONSHIPS OTHER CHRISTIANS JUST TURN OFF THE RELATIONSHIP FOR NO APPARENT REASON .THEY SAY TO YOU 'I AM IN A DIFFERENT SEASON AND I AM PUTTING ALL MY ENERGY INTO MY NEW FELLOWSHIP(CHURCH)" THIS IS HOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER IN THE NAME OF CHRIST? THEY WILL KNOW US BY HOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER ,WHY THEN DO WE JUST SHUT OFF RELATIONSHIPS LIKE A FAUCET?? I DON'T GET IT....THE BIBLE TELLS ME THAT WE ARE TO LOVE EACH OTHER .IT SHOULDN'T MATTER IF WE DON'T FELLOWSHIP IN THE SAME CHURCH ,CAN SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS ONE?..THANKS SO MUCH...
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home